It has been a week and a day and my heart is overwhelmed. Again, I woke up feeling unstable. I can't help but ask what's in store for me again. I arose from bed and got up to open and lock the door for my roomie and after my friend left, emptiness surrounded me and reality hit once more.
I am alone. I have no one to hold on to. I don't have my parents to speak with. I am so out of my comfort zone and this is reality. I have to embrace myself and accept the fact that I am alone.
My fears surge in. Today is another beginning yet I do not know where to start. I am looking for definite things which would yield definite results but still none of the things around me offer such assurance.
I went back to bed and let all my emotions out. I wept like a baby who's going through separation anxiety. I prayed to the Lord and confessed all my fears and worries.Today, I read Romans 5:1-5 and it inspired me to move on.
Peace with God through Faith
1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2Through him we have also obtained access by faith[b] into this grace in which we stand, and we[c] rejoice[d] in hope of the glory of God. 3More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that sufferingproduces endurance, 4and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.
I am suffering right now. Being far from home is not an easy thing for me. It's not like as if I could spend all my life outside and be with my friends. Sometimes, thoughts of going back home cross my mind because that is where my comfort zone is. But then I drift back to reality realizing that I have to stand on my own and start being on my own. I am suffering for I have always been dependent on my parents. They are my pillars of strength and they are my everything. I sometimes feel that I no longer need anyone else because my family gives me all the love I need.
Anyway, in my current state, God breathed hope in my life. I must learn how to rejoice in this suffering for in my suffering I'd learn how to endure. Endurance would hone my character, my character would produce hope; the hope that would allow me to go through life and move on with it and keep on fighting. Hope won't put me to shame because God's love has been poured into my heart through the Holy Spirit that's in me and that should give me the assurance and the peace that I need to face the next challenges that I will face.
I hold on to God's promises. The Lord's goodness and love will follow me ALL THE DAYS of my life. I'm SURROUNDED with the FAVOR OF THE LORD ALWAYS and FOREVER. God's got me covered. That should be more than enough for me to move on and be confident in doing so.
Another day, another time to glorify the Lord.
I will forever be grateful to the Lord for all the lessons learned in my life.
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