It's my 3rd day here. I am fighting the feeling of loneliness, doubt, fear, and insecurity. It's hard to take a leap not knowing where I belong. I am not exactly welcome in this place where I am staying. It is sad. So far in all the times that I have been here, this year is the toughest. I don't know where to go and what to do exactly but I am determined to make this work. I depend solely on the Lord to make things work out for me.
I just really praise the Lord that Jaja is around. She's encouraging me to go and pursue things. It's tough to be alone but I want this. I need to do this, conquer my fears and be strong. I want to be there to support Tita Ching and give the best possible life that I could give to my parents. I dream of blessing them with the kind of life that they truly deserve.
It breaks my heart that back in the Philippines, all I could do is depend on them. And what's even heartbreaking is that they willingly, lovingly, and unconditionally support me in all I do. For a change, just to thank them I want to be there and help out. That's all I dream of.
It would be really nice to see my parents growing old not having to mind if they have enough money for their old age, for their medical needs,etc. Lord, please bless me with a good job, good employer... where I could excel and bless others through what I do.
I will endure this race that I'm in. I will keep on going. I will keep pursuing this. Lord, bless my heart. Have Your way in me.
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