Reasons

As a rational human being, I am bound to think, bound to seek answers to all my questions. Today, I found out that Fr. Andy Formilleza died at the age of 72. As to why he died,I do not know why. I am in Singapore to find a job and yet I remain unsuccessful with a soon-to-expire  visa and still I do not know why I am here given that I am not successful in job-hunting. I met a guy, Miguel, who showered with me so much attention and he suddenly becomes silent and less thoughtful, again I do not know why.


You see, life is all about whats, whys, hows, and all the asking words in the world. I remain puzzled why God brought me here. I believe that He causes miracles to happen. I believe He gives the desires of His children's heart. I just do not know why mine has not yet been answered. I continue to seek His answers but it seems He remained mum about it. The only clear things I have in mind are as follows:


1. I am in Singapore in search of job so I could bless my family.


2. I am here to take a leap of faith and see how far I could go.


3. I am here to try to fulfill my dreams.


4. I am here because I want to travel.


5. I am here because I would love to study at the National University of Singapore.


6. I am here because I want to be with my best friend Cleo to support her in her endeavors.


7. I am here because I want to spend more time with Bianca who has been like a baby sister to me.


8. I am here because I enjoy worshipping with my fellow Christians here.


9. I am here because I know I could be independent here.


10. I am here because I get to do my devotions religiously here.


11. I am here because I learn more about life here. 


Now, that my visa is expiring and I got a few days left before I fly back home, I suddenly can't help but think why I am here in the first place. I could always come up with reasons on top of more reasons but then again, at the end of the day, only God knows whether I should stay or if I should go back home. 


My heart desires to remain here. My heart wants to stay so I could pursue my dreams. My heart would want to explore more options so I could make my dreams come true. But I know better than just follow my heart.


God wants me to believe and so that is what I am trying my best to do. If it is God's will for me to stay here then He will defy all reasons, logic, and what ever rational there is and He will grant my heart's desires. Otherwise, I will go back home and allow Him to continue the story of my life.


I still seek to find reasons but right now, I will trust the Lord and let go of whatever rational I got. God has good things in store for me and I claim that in Jesus' mighty name. I will succeed because God is on my side. He is a giver and I believe that He will answer my heart's desire that I'd be able to bless my parents abundantly in a way that I, too, will be blown away.


Reasons? Nahhh.. I'll ditch that. I choose to firmly believe and just exercise my faith. Is it easy? NO. BUT I choose to BELIEVE. My God is a mighty God. He is in control. He will be the ONE to bless me and grant my heart's desires at the right place, at the right time.