Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Transitions

I am about to embark in a new journey in life. I am about to work and finally, this would be outside of my comfort zone. I am excited and I feel odd about it. Just when work is about to go on smoothly, love life takes another plunge once more. 


I do not have the most ideal set up with Miguel but we try to work things out. He calms my fears and tries his best to address all my worries and anxieties. That somehow works out for me. 

A week ago, he told me that we must speak to each other everyday even just for a little while. However, he was able to do so on weekdays but come weekend, things came tumbling down. Annoyance rushed over me so I emailed him back with all my hurts. 


And he replied to me and attached to it is this song:





He really has a funny way of communicating with me. He knows how to get to my good side. He, for one, knew that Adam Levine would make me feel better. But other than that, the lyrics of the song communicated our situation very well. I understand clearly now what he's trying to say. It's amusing and calming but


I wish things were easier. I wish...

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Transitions

Things are turning around for me. Circumstances remain uncertain but at least I get clearer answers. I am processing my pre-employment now for Franklin Covey and I am somewhat excited for it. Other than that, Miguel and I are doing well in our friendship. Again, I am scared to be hurt but he keeps telling me to fight and be strong so I find myself following him and holding on to whatever it is that we have.

More greater things are yet to come and I am looking forward to it.



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Saturday, October 22, 2011

Love, Trust, & Exclusivity

What I share with Miguel is fun and it is tough. If there is one thing that is sure about what I share with him is uncertainty. Things are vague between us. To keep whatever this is that we are sharing, I need to move out of my comfort zone and trust. Miguel has always been a great source of love, joy, and encouragement and I will forever be grateful to the Lord for him. That's why though there are countless times when I feel like giving him up, I just can't because he is fighting for what we have.

Earlier this morn, I tried to call it quits and give up on him. It's one of those days when insecurities flood my insides and I can't brush it off and I had to take it out on him. But he was insistent and very persistent. He emphasized that I am his girl and that we are exclusive. It feels good to have such affirmation. I asked the Lord for Miguel. I have been praying for him and it feels good to receive such affirmation. Not that I'm quick to assume that this is it. I am just enjoying this moment when he assured me of my place in his life.

Stumbling blocks, we got a lot! My insecurities alone can break us apart but I'm glad that Miguel opts to be strong for me so we can move on.

I know that he loves me. He is not giving up on me easily. He believes in me. He trusts me. He is not fooling around. He believes in our exclusivity. I have never been in such an assuring situation and it is good to be in this special relationship.

I do not know how our worlds exactly came together and I definitely do not know what the future will bring. But it's nice to know that I could always look back to this year and remember that though life has been a challenge, God blessed me with Miguel who makes me feel loved, challenges me to trust, encourages me to be brave and strong, and to top it all, he wants to be exclusively mine.

What else could I ask for?
My heart is overflowing with so much love already.







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Saturday, October 15, 2011

What I love about my life is that though bad things happen, I know that something better would somehow come along. I just spoke with my cousin. We were on the phone for almost an hour where I heard all about the good news that is happening in her life. I went through a lot of hassles in life and there were times when I felt that I was alone. I guess what I want my cousin to feel is that someone is there to rejoice with her in times of victories and definitely she has someone to lean to in times of sad moments. I am happy for her. I happy for all her achievements. I do wish her well in life.




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Friday, October 14, 2011

Lowest of the Low

With this ordeal, I have been thinking a lot about life and the things going on with me. I'm at the point in my life where things seem not right. I feel ugly. I feel am not good enough. I got issues! Waaaahhhhh. I hope I'd be over this soon. It's complicated. It's so confusing. I hate it.


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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Happy Birthday, Nanay

It is sad that she is no longer around. We no longer have any reason to celebrate, eat out, or call the family every October for a themed get-together for her birthday.


I miss her terribly. Nanay has been a great source of love, encouragement for her family down to her grandchildren. She was always ready to give praises. She never failed to highlight what's beautiful in yourself. In times when you've doubted yourself, speak with her and at the end of it all, you'd feel that youre a better person.

She's not perfect. She's got flaws but she never made those flaws and shortcomings get in the way. She had problems. She encountered betrayals and abandonment yet she chose to fight each battle with so much grace and chose to rise above it all.

With all that's happening to me now, I miss the moments when she'd cheer me on. She believed in me. It meant a lot. I miss the times she'd compliment me even though I felt I was really fat and ugly. She was proud of my every achievement - both great and small. She even hung my stuff at her humble home and even displayed my pics. She made me feel that she was so proud of me.

Nanay was always ready to give, eventhough she barely had enough for herself. Regardless of what it was, whenever the need arises, she would just freely give without any question whatsoever.

I miss her... SO MUCH. I truly praise the Lord for her life and for all the sweet memories we had together. It's sad that she's no longer around but knowing that she is spending her birthday with the Lord, Tatay, and all our loved ones who have gone before us is already comforting enough because I know she is having a blast in her birthday party in heaven.

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Sunday, October 9, 2011

What I would love to do right now is spend some time alone, literally in solitude, in a place where I can be just quiet and think of nothing else. It would be nice if I had all the resources in the world to travel around, meet strangers, enjoy the sights, and learn new things. But I would also be happy if I'd be left alone in Boracay where I could bury my toes in those fine white sands as I watch the sun slowly set and fade away into the night. It could also be that I spend the day alone at The Henderson Wave or Alexandra Canal in Sg where I could watch passersby and just enjoy nature.

I feel like I couldn't share what I'm going through with anyone right now. I feel like it's either they won't understand and at the same time, I feel like I'm wasting their time since it doesn't concern them.

I am feeling a lot of things in side of me. If only I could share it to someone else... If only...


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People change. You may support someone with all your heart, time, and effort because you love them. Sadly, now that you're in need, you get the littlest support ever. Not that you're expecting anything in return, it's just sad that since it seems like I got nothing to hold on to, that is exactly the same time that I get no concrete support.

I tried to spread my wings, I tried to follow my dreams and for a while I thought I got some support from the people dear to me. Only to realize that when it did not push through, they started counting all the "help" they extended to me one by one -- almost itemized.

It's sad that I'm not one of those "fortunate" people who were born with silver spoons on their mouths. It's sad that I'm no royalty. It's sad that I can just easily do the things that I dream of doings. It's sad that aside from I don't have the financial resources, I don't have the luxury of time to follow all my dreams.

Don't worry, this is no cause for alarm. I'm not in a state of rebellion. I just felt like telling someone about how I feel and right now, it doesn't matter if you'll reply back or not.

Life is unfair. It's one realization that I clearly learned this year. And I will live with this truth until I die.

Life goes on...



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Wednesday, October 5, 2011

The Man I Like

There are days when I feel like giving up on him. Simply because I do not understand some of the things which he does. Add to it our communication and proximity issues. It really takes a toll on us. It makes you feel like you're drifting far apart each time you fail to talk to each other.

A few days back, I emailed him when I snapped. Told him that I am mad at him and that I am frustrated. It's just sad that we are far away.

This morning however I woke up to this message:



How could I hate him for so long? How could I remain mad? I know we both need to work things out and here he is saying I'm sorry.

I am scared to love this guy because he seems so adorable. He has flaws and insecurities but at the same time, he has goals to achieve and vision for the future. He is not scared to run after me and apologize.

I'm still guarding my heart but one thing is for sure, he already captured a special place in my heart...




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Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Status Update

I'm not okay. That's what I always say. Honestly, that's how I feel because I am trying to find who I am and find what I'm really good at. However, what I never knew was that it takes so much time to find who you really are.

There are moments when all you could do is cry yourself until your tearducts dry out because you don't know who you are. Of course there are things which you know that only your faith could address but I never thought that there would ever come a time when you will look for something real and tangible in your life. As I am writing this, I can't help but feel rebuked with my thoughts because obviously I chose to lean on my knowledge over my faith.

Right now, things remain hanging. Yes, I'm still uncertain about so many things but I choose to be okay. I know that things will be better. My God will make things better...




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Saturday, October 1, 2011

Keeping it up with the Kardashians

I am so hooked in watching anything Kardashian. It obviously shows that even rich and famous people got flaws. They have their own dysfunctionality to deal with. Despite differences and flaws, they still find a good reason to live and learn and continue enjoying life. I honestly think it's awesome. People think it's pathetic to watch them but I beg to differ. There are quite lots of things to learn from them if one chooses to dig deeper to the superficiality of the show.

1. It's ALWAYS better when we're together.
That's what families are for! Celebrate and rejoice for all the victories & cry, if needed, and empathize for every fall. Knowing that no matter what happens, they got each other make them a strong family. Nothing nor nobody would ever keep them apart.

2. There's blessing in obedience.
Sure, they came from broken homes. Oh, they made tons of mistakes but at the end of the day, Kourtney, Kim, KhloƩ, Rob, Kendall, Kaylie still obey Kris & Bruce. Yes, they go against the authorities at times but most of the time, they listen to good counsel and look where it took them? It earned them more success. So while the world encourages us to rebel and do your own thing, it pays to commend this family for being a good role model.

3. Spread the love.
The Kardashians never seem to run out of affection for each other. They are vocal about their love for the family and it's actually good. Why should you be ashamed to tell the world how much you love your siblings or parents? I believe it's really good to keep the family vocal about their love for each other. It affirms their relationship and it just keeps the family stronger.

I'm sure there's more to learn. I will definitely keep this updated as I go along. For now, let me Keep It Up again with the Kardashians.


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Thursday, September 29, 2011

Big Day


Tomorrow is a big day for me. I got this test coming up and let's see how it will turn out. If this works out, I will have my taste of how it really feels to be a "marketer".Seriously, this makes me nervous but this time, I think I know how to take things. Let this begin and if pressure and stress come bothering me, then, so be it. I got a great God who will help me come through it all. I'm seriously excited.
 

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Pedring

This is the first time I have experienced typhoon back here in Manila. I was out during the rainy season thus making me miss experiencing most of the typhoon that hit my country. Sadly, this Pedring, which hit my country on the 2nd anniversary of typhoon Ondoy, is too strong and is now considered to be a super typhoon.

Pedring got me thinking. Natural phenomenon such as this happens. How do we respond to it? Do we choose to stop living just because it imposes danger and causes us so much uncertainty which leads to anxiety and fear? Do we choose to just wait until it comes and see how it will affect us?

In life, we encounter so many storms. Loved ones die, trusted best friends lie, boyfriends cheat... What else is there? So what do we do with it? Do we skip life? Do we crumble and give up?

No!!! No!!! No!!!

No storms in life will ever kill me. It may cripple me but it will never ever gonna bring me down forever.


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Living

You know what sucks? Life. Simply because life is hard. Problems exist. Not everyone has the great opportunity to enjoy it. Bad people surround you. Finances trouble you. Growing up means you have to think about these things. There's no room for being carefree exactly because if you want to live, then you have to make a living. 


Life has been getting me down. Few opportunities come up for me. Here I am struggling to belong and struggling to find out who I really am. There are so many things that I want to do. There are so many things that I want to learn and experience but it seems like there's no breakthrough for me yet.


Despite all these, though at times I feel like quitting, I choose not to give up. Every waking moment of my life means there are new things to explore, new things to learn. No matter how minuscule it may be, point is it is something new. With that said, life may not be good all the time but it remains worthy to be lived for because God gave us new things to learn and experience everyday -- no matter how great nor small it may be.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Time to Conquer

Boracay with Mav & Paulo
 I love my friends. They bring balance to my life. They tell me straight if things are doing well in my life and they do not hold back if they need to correct me. I like that. 


I have known Mav & Paulo for 3 years now and I am truly grateful to the Lord for bringing them to my life. We enjoy similar things and it usually means experiencing adventures with them. Since I have known them, I was able to come out of my safety bubble and explore new things again. Because of them, I started going out of my comfort zone and enjoying the life that was meant for me to enjoy.

Being with them allowed me to try new things out, celebrate occasions in a special and random way, go to places and make things happen. They help me realize the plans that I have long buried and sort of forgotten. These guys reminded me that I got the power to make things happen if I choose to make it happen.



Next year looks promising. With plans of conquering Asian countries, what else is there not to look forward to? Starting today, I will iron my financial obligations and settle what needs to be settled so I could go and enjoy the things that I need to enjoy.


Life is good. This is definitely something to look forward to. Thank you, Lord, for awesome friends. :)



Saturday, September 24, 2011

What To Do

If great opportunities are only for great people, what will happen to ordinary people like me? 


Do I really need to break rules to say that I got confidence in me?



Friday, September 23, 2011

Reminiscing

I'm going through my past blogs. Last year though I was drained, I just realized that God has still blessed me with the time of my life. Life has been the same. It remained like one heck of a roller coaster ride. It was stressful most of the time but reading through it made me realize that God had His hands upon me and that He continued to direct my life so I may enjoy life to the fullest. It was not bad at all.


It's nice to go through the past sometimes. It makes me realize that I am blessed after all and not forgotten. 

Me & You

This is cute. This is something I wrote last year. Might as well repost it.

I enjoyed every moment having you around but knowing you're so far always leaves me with a doubt.
Whenever you become silent, I can't help but wonder, "do you still think of me?" or "have I been forgotten?"
I feel things have turned from surreal to real. 
The longing and the pain, both these emotions, I could finally feel.
I don't want to hold on for I am scared to be let down.
But whenever I give up,  your honest answers pull me back.
But then again, who could ever really tell that you have been so honest?
I miss you.
That's all I could say.
That's all I could do.
That's all I that's in my head - Me & You

Lessons Learned

Twenty - eight years of living your life is not yet long enough but in the 28 years of my life, I have learned the following:


1. Life is unfair.
We live in a damned world. Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad ones. Injustices take place everywhere. We just all need to learn to accept reality that life is not fair at all.


2. Do not be too cautious.
Though it is good to guard your moves, it's not so good to be super guarded at all times. Learn to jump and fall. Move out of the box. Go out of your comfort zone. Experience life. You are bound to make mistakes. If you do commit some, stand up, learn from it, and move on.


3. Be adventurous.
Try things which you never imagined that you will ever try to do. Bungee jump, sky dive, scuba dive. Enjoy such thrills. Conquer your fears. Travel the world. Be independent. Any of these experiences would lead to new lessons learned.


4. Love more.
Nothing beats loving more. :)

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Timothy's Milk Tea

Ingredients:

  • 3 cups of milk
  • 1 cup of water
  • 2 tea bags
  • 2 cardamoms
  • 1/2 tsp of cinnamon
  • sugar to taste
  • small slice of ginger
Preparation:

Boil water. Let the tea bags steep in it. Add milk. Drop the slice of ginger and cinnamon. Add the cardamoms. Then, put sugar according to your taste.

That's it! :)

Enjoy your cup of tea!

Nothing Lasts Forever

And so you're down. Things are not going the way you perceived it to be. You feel like nothing seems right. Everything seems so wrong. You work hard to turn things around yet it still fails. You plan to get up only to find out you're in too deep. You let it out, thresh it out, cry your hearts out, only to realize that it's not yet over. Things aren't getting any better at all. 


But you know what's a nice thing to know?
NOTHING LASTS FOREVER.


In time, things will get better. 

Worlds Apart

You're there, I am here
Opposite sides, opposite spheres
How in the world did we ever meet?
Heavens did conspire for us to meet



Separated by oceans
Even heavens outstretched in miles
Not seeing eye-to-eye
How does this even work out?


Things like this rarely happen in reality
Can I be stuck forever in fantasy?
When we connect

The world doesn't seem to object
Stay with me...
Please stay with me


I believe we're meant to be
Just how it became possible that's there's now you & me
Let's see how far we could go
Despite the fact that we're worlds apart

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Me

When problems come my way, I often find a way to get over it and rise above. Because of this, I often find myself encouraging others more. In return, I believe I do not burden others about what I am going through.

Lately, however, I have never felt so sad, worthless, and alone. Words can not even express what I have in mind and what I feel. I can't even find the strength to meet my friends because I do not have the energy to even fake a smile.

Realizing this, I just made a conscious effort to turn things around. Exercise faith, right? God will turn things around for me. I will just keep myself doing what needs to be done.

If there is one thing I'm sure of, that's the fact that I am not born to be a burden but instead I am born to bless others.




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Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Tea & Sympathy

I woke up realizing that I am not ready to apply. My insecurities and fears are overwhelming me. Today, I succumbed to it and opted to stay home. Wrong decision you may say but I say otherwise. 


It's tough to move on when one is faced with reality that's pulling one down. So I started my day with a cup of tea. I am a big fan of Twinings. I love how it makes the flavors come out. It doesn't taste like your usual flavored green tea. Today, I tried Darjeeling and I loved it. It tasted like prunes. If you are into fruity flavors, try this out.


Commercial break... I am watching the re-runs of The Voice on AXN and I can't help but pause for a while and watch Adam Levine enjoy listening to Blake Shelton and his team's rendition of "This Love". Yes, I got this weird crush on Adam Levine. His smile makes me melt and often helps turn my frown upside down. Who wouldn't? His smile seriously makes me weak. It is crazy but yeah, he seriously has a weird effect on me. It's good. And don't worry I'm not going super crazy. I still know the different between reality and fantasy. It is just nice to have a good reason to smile when you're down.


One of my first conversations
with Miguel
Going back to reality, after weeks of not being able to speak properly with Miguel, we were able to talk today. He updated me of his plans. He will travel probably next week to Brazil or Mexico again. He has set some job interviews back there which is good. We started to talk about Brazil and he actually got shocked that I am visa exempted to get there. But of course, reality tells both us that it remains a fact that it's difficult for me to get around. After that, Miguel shifted our conversation to future plans. I like that in my guy -- a guy who has plans for the future. He plans to fly out after a year or less so he could be nearer in terms of proximity to me. 


I could not deny the connection we got. It is really something else but our language creates this invisible barrier which makes it hard for us to dig in deeper about our future plans. I am excited. This talk with him makes things better. I am excited for what is yet to come. It feels good that he continues to think of me and that I am part of his plans after all. I just hope I'd be strong enough to hold on to whatever this is that we got.


For now, I'll just drink my tea, do what I need to do, and maybe some of you could offer me some sympathy. Haha. Oh well, life must go on.  Toodles!

Monday, September 19, 2011

Of Struggles and Strife

It has been over a month since I have been back. Picking up where I left off has not been easy. When I got back home, I continued to apply jobs there, hoping to land to something. Until now, I got no response. I started applying for jobs back here and sadly, I haven't received much positive replies from my target companies. 

It is sad. There were mornings when I feel so down. Of course, there's this easy way out of this dilemma of mine. I could always come back to my past job and settle for it. Yes, it's like settling for mediocrity. Honestly speaking, this is not an issue of my pride, I just need to find  something which would be out of my comfort zone and would allow me to learn more.

Life is hard. I am experiencing it now. Living it hurts me every now and then. It's tough. BUT I refuse to give up on my dreams. I refuse to give up on life. I will just cry buckets of tears or until my tear ducts dry out. I am not giving up. I will succeed.
I know I have been questioning God about things but it doesn't mean that I have lost my faith in Him. It just makes it clearer that His will is not same as mine. I maybe down right now but I know that in time, I will rise above. I will be successful too. After all,

Struggle and strife come before success... 
even in the dictionary.





Thursday, September 15, 2011

Feeling down. Can't seem to push the bad vibes away. Feel like crying. No tears come out. Emptiness in my heart. Surrounded by uncertainties. I don't know where to run. Left with nothing. It's sad. I don't want to succumb to the feeling of loneliness but it's pulling me down.  Opportunities strike but it doesn''t seem so good. This is so sad. I don't know what to do and where to start. 

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


Today, my country was well-represented by a beautiful lady named Shamcey Supsup. She had the beauty, brains, and the courage to stand up for her faith. She studied Architecture from the University of the Philippines Diliman where she graduated Magna Cum Laude and topped last year's Architecture Licensure Exams. That alone was a major achievement given that she's a woman conquering an endeavor which was perceived to be a man's turf. 
Summer of this year, she competed for Bb. Pilipinas where she was crowned to represent the country for the Miss Universe. Finally, the said pageant transpired today where she faced the toughest question ever asked of her -- would you change your religious beliefs for the one you love? Surprisingly, she said that she will not do so for her first love remains to be God who created her and the man who loves her must also love the God she loves. 

What a conviction! In a world where people try to call God different names, where people try to avoid an intriguing question like this, Shamcey definitely stood out! The way she spoke of God without thinking twice about it made me proud as a Christian. She did a great job in representing the country. She did a great job in reflecting the kind of people we are. Most of all, she made God proud because she proudly boasted His name up high in worldwide television.

I know that's tough. I wish to have that same confidence to do what she has done. She is definitely someone to look up to and may people find the confidence to do what she has done. 

Congratulations, Shamcey Supsup! You are a winner for me, the Filipinos, and most of all, you are the best in God's sight. :) What else could you ever ask for? 


Saturday, September 10, 2011

Something Borrowed

I watched the movie Something Borrowed. It was about two friends who met in Law School, enjoyed each other's company so much and later on, developed a special attraction for each other yet, never acknowledged it. The guy dated the girl's best friend to the point that the guy actually got engaged to the the best friend. Things got complicated when the girl finally confessed to the guy that she really loved her since Law School. Unfortunately, the guy wasn't man enough to stand up for the girl and so he never pursued her. Until finally, he got to muster all his confidence and made a decision to stand up for her. In the end of course, the wedding was called off and the guy and the girl became together.

It was actually a sad story. I am only judging based on the interpretation of the movie. They guy and girl have hurt so many people around them. Not that I am less conservative in views, but I believe that when you love someone, you have to tell the person that you do so before time runs out on you. Love is about risk-taking. The other person may not love you back. Rejection will always impose a stumbling block but if one continues to be hindered by these feeling of rejection, one will never find out if the one you've set your eyes on is really the one for you. You will never be on the losing end when you express your love for someone. In the first place, love has always been and will forever be meant to be shared to special loved ones.


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Friday, September 9, 2011

Sunshines & Rainy Days

I'm not a big fan of the rain. Just as I am typing this blog, rain  is pouring outside my windows since 3pm. Yes, it is depressing. Very limiting even. I personally do not like the feeling of raindrops on my toes, making me feel cold, and of course, the fact that one has to bring protective gears against the rain. There's the trusty umbrella, cap, and jacket. Hassle, right?


Life is full of sunshines and rainy days. There are days when everything wrong seems to just keep pouring down - messed up job application, getting rejected, misunderstanding with a boyfriend and arguments with family. Just like any rainy day, we need to be prepared with our gears -- a heart full of love and understanding, patience, respect and a lot  of dose of obedience.



Rainy days dampen our spirits. We can choose to go down with it and sulk or we could always look up and remember that God has taken care of things like these. We got to sun to shine on us after the rain. Are we allowed to feel bad? Yes. Do we sulk and prolong this feeling that pulls us down? Heck no! Get up. Rise above. There's always rainbows and sunshine after the rain. Cheer up! God has better things in store for you and I. 


Blessings

1. I got a family who cares for me regardless if they have the tendency of being overprotective.


2. I got brothers whom I think are awesome and supportive of me.


3. My friends, regardless of all the ups and downs we've been through, remain to be supportive of me, loving me, and still sticking by my side all these times.


4. Being friends with Miguel for 3 months now definitely is another reason to be grateful for. He has been a great source of encouragement and joy.


5. Cleo, Joanne, and Joel are more receptive to God's Word now. I also get to share with Karl and Erwin more openly about my faith. 

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Lessons and Blessings

My best friend sent me an email today. She told me about 2 super good news; she's off to Phuket for her pre-birthday and her boyfriend could finally fly back to where she is now after being banned to enter another country. At first, I couldn't help but question God, "how come I haven't received such an extravagant good news just like that of my best friends?" I'm sorry but I am only human but anyway, after that thought crossed my mind, I automatically dismissed the question in my head.


I am just human. I am not perfect. I get envious and I get hurt. I aim high and dream of accomplishing so much in life as well. Don't judge me if this thought ever crossed my mind. I was also thinking if God would ever condemn me for entertaining such thought. Then, I realized that God doesn't expect us to be perfect just because we are Christians now. It is more of what you choose to do after that thought entered your mind. I could have chosen to be bitter. Oh, it is so easy to be bitter. Envy can seep in your heart and really cause you to be mad and be bitter. Instead, I chose to rejoice with my friend.


My best friend deserves all those blessings. She's been going through a lot and it has been causing her anxiety and depressing. This outpour of blessings was just given at the right time. I truly praise God for that. With her birthday coming up in a few weeks from now, I am sure that she felt how awesome our God is with all these that's been happening to her.


So for my issues, I choose to brush them away. It's not yet my time and I would not feel envious. My heart is filled with joy for my best friend. I hope this is the beginning of something great and wonderful for her. I would really be happy to hear more awesome things for her. I do hope this would begin a desire to get to know the Lord more. :)


Am I happy? Yes. Do I have issues? Nah... forget it. Today, I learned a great lesson and witnessed an outpour of blessings. That's enough for me now. God is awesome. He never fails to amaze me.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Blessings

I have been praying that I be a blessing to my family because they have been a great blessing to me as well. I think it is but right for they have loved me unconditionally and continued to do so. Anyway, I have been at Nanay's house for almost a week now. Tita Ching got asthma attack initially and so I decided to take it upon me to take good care of her. A day or two after, I was scheduled to join Tita Siony for her check up where I found out the worst news ever -- that she got the big C.


I thought I will never accomplish that but hearing how proud Tita Ching is when telling the rest of my titas of how I took care of her make my heart swell. It's an awesome feeling. Thank you, Lord, for filling my heart with so much love. It means so much to me. 


Today is a special day too. I was about to give up on Miguel. We haven't spoken much lately. I am seriously too scared to trust him so much because I'm scared to be hurt in the end. Anyway, I was about to tell him all my frustrations when I found out that it's the 7th today. The 7th day of the month means so much to me. It was the day I have "known" Miguel. I consider Miguel to be a great blessing. What he has done to me has greatly made an impact in my life and I will always cherish him. 


All is well that ends well. This day has been good and I like it. 

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

12 Ideas for Healthier, Easier Workouts | Diet & Exercise | Reader's Digest Asia

12 Ideas for Healthier, Easier Workouts | Diet & Exercise | Reader's Digest Asia


If you are one of the minority of people who regularly goes to a gym for exercise, then congratulations! It means you have the right priorities and terrific discipline. But it's fair to say that at times, even for committed exercisers, motivation often flags, and there are days when it requires a Herculean effort just to put on our workout clothes and walk through the gym doors.
If you're lucky, the sights and sounds of exercise are all you need to motivate yourself to get moving. At other times, you still may not have the slightest urge to get started. For those days, here are some ways to get the most out of your workout.
1. Avoid the mirrors. Many fitness locations line exercise rooms with mirrors to allow you to watch your form as you work out. Yet a study of 58 women found that those who exercised in front of a mirror felt less calm and more fatigued after 30 minutes of working out than those who exercised without staring at their reflection. The national exercise chain, Curves, deliberately designs its small gyms without mirrors so women can concentrate on each other and the workout rather than on how they look. Other gyms are beginning to offer “reflection-free” zones. If yours doesn't, mention the idea--and the study--to the gym manager.
2. Try using aromatherapy oils known to enhance energy, such as rosemary. Mix them with water and store them in a squirt bottle in your gym bag. Give your gym clothing a few squirts before leaving the dressing room so you can smell the oil as you work out. If you're in the midst of a more meditative, slowerpaced workout, such as Pilates or yoga, try lavender oil instead of rosemary.
3. Create your own personal gym mix tapes, CDs or digital recordings, and listen to them as you work out. Researchers from the University of Wisconsin-La Crosse found that people who listen to up-tempo music got significantly more out of their stationary bike workouts. They pedaled faster, produced more power, and their hearts beat faster than when they listened to slow-tempo music or sounds with no tempo. Overall, they worked between 5 and 15 percent harder while listening to the energizing beat. Although the type of music you choose is up to you, pick something with a fast beat that makes you want to break out in dance. You can custom-design your own exercise music to burn to a CD or download to an MP3 player at Internet sites such as www.mywalkingmusic.com or www.workoutmusic.com.
4. Think of someone who irritates you. Then step on the treadmill, stair stepper, stationary bike, or elliptical machine and sweat out your aggression as you run, climb, or cycle. You might even imagine that you are running an imaginary race against this person. You'll get in a better workout--and blast away anger and stress at the same time.
5. Drink a bottle of water or juice on your way to the gym. If you show up for your workout already dehydrated, you'll feel overly fatigued during your session, says Craig Horswill, Ph.D., principal scientist for the Gatorade Sports Science Institute in Barrington, Illinois. “Nearly half of all exercisers are starting their workouts at a real disadvantage--by arriving at the gym already dehydrated,” he says. “When you're dehydrated, you can't work as hard, you don't feel as good, and your mental function is going to be compromised. Consequently, you're not going to get as much out of your workout.”
6. Think you can and you will. So simple, yet so often ignored, positive thinking can help you power your way through a workout. In a study of 41 adults ages 55 to 92, exercisers who thought positively were more likely to stay active than those whose minds often uttered those two evil words: “I can't.” Whenever you find yourself making excuses, mentally put those self-defeating thoughts in a locked cabinet in your brain and replace them with positive messages such as, “I feel great” or “Bring it on.”
7. Turn off the tube when exercising. It's tempting to try to lose yourself in television programming as you slog away on the treadmill or stationary bike. Yet a 1996 study found women worked out about 5 percent harder when they weren't watching TV than when they were. Although your favorite TV show may take your mind off your workout, it also causes you to lose touch with your effort level. You unconsciously slow down or use poor form as you get caught up in what you are watching. If television sets line the workout area, get on the equipment closest to the monitor tuned to C-Span. Sure you'll glance up at the monitor from time to time, but unless you're a complete political junkie, you probably won't get sucked in.
8. Work out with a friend. If you're feeling stale and are thinking of skipping your gym workouts, ask a friend to meet you for a gym date. As you walk or run on the treadmill, you can share stories of your day. Thirty minutes will go by before you know it. You can also encourage each other to work a bit harder. Your friend can also help you find the courage to approach unfamiliar gym equipment, as it's easier to laugh off your foibles when you have a trusted companion nearby.
9. Set a short-term workout goal. We all know that goals help motivate you to work harder, and that the best exercise programs include measurable goals to achieve weeks or months down the road. Sometimes, though, when your motivation is drooping, a goal for what to achieve over the next 30 minutes is really what you need. So pick something achievable: Maintain a sweat for 20 minutes, or cover two miles on the treadmill, or give just your arms a really good strength workout. A target like that gives you focus to get through on even the tough days.
10. Change your routine every three to four weeks. This will keep your body guessing - improving your result - and fuel your motivation. In the weights room, alternate exercises and modify the way you lift weights. If you usually do two sets of 15 reps, complete one set of 15, then increase the weight for another set of 8 reps. On cardio equipment, switch from the treadmill to the stair stepper etc. Mix up your exercise classes as well, switching around from Pilates to aerobic dance to yoga to kickboxing.
11. Slow down. In one American study, participants who lifted slowly - taking at least 14 seconds to complete one repetition - gained more strength than participants who lifted at a rate of 7 seconds per rep. Slower lifting may help increase strength because it prevents you from using momentum or improper techniques.
12. Invent a competition with the person on the next treadmill. If you're on the treadmill and you're bored, glance at the display on someone else's nearby treadmill. If you're walkig at 3.5 miles per hour and he or she is chugging away at 4mph, see if you can increase your speed and catch up, as if it were a race. The other person won't even know you're racing.

Monday, September 5, 2011

"Home is where your heart is."

I have been staying at my tita's for 3 days now. I did not go through any major adjustments when I started staying and sleeping over here. Usually it takes time for me to fall asleep and really get accustomed in staying over at a place but this place is different. It just feels right. It's like I never left my home at all. That's how comfortable I am in staying over here.

This is where I grew up. I spent the first 7 years of my life here. I learned how to walk here. My grandpa used to make me sit at the walls of the gate every morn so we could both catch the early morn sunshine. I ran around the front porch. Played hide and seek where I used to hide by the santan bushes in the garden. Too many sweet memories. You see, it doesn't take a structure to declare a house a home. I believe that home is where your heart is. I'm glad I could proudly say that I got two homes where I truly could be myself...where I truly belong. 

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Better When We're Together

Kuya Karl & I

Twins - Jem & Erwin

We really complement each other.

Different Sides of Me as Captured by Karl & Erwin

Truth be told: It's REALLY always better when we're together

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

"There is blessing in obedience."


Sometimes I can't help but wonder if this is true. Blessings... of course everybody wants to be blessed. That's why I try my best to obey though sometimes things go against my logic. 


Today, I've heard the most hurtful words that were ever said to me. What stuck on my head is that I am more of a burden to my family than a blessing. I never meant to be a burden. Of course, I want to bring joy to my family. However, right now, it seems like I am nothing but a burden. The words that were said to me cut deep. It's painful and all I can do is hold back my tears and keep quiet. I deserved those words. I got no objection at all. I refuse to believe that I am a burden though so here I am trying to fill my mind with encouraging thoughts. 


I choose to believe that I am a blessing> Probably I am not one right now, but I will move towards becoming one. I don't know whether I should stop dreaming of doing things but yeah maybe I better keep still right now and just take things slow. I have no right to dream big. I got no right to complain. Basically, I got no right to do anything right now. I will just be silent. I will obey. I will submit. I will work towards my goal. I will believe that at the end of this all, God has better things in store for me. I will be still... I will obey.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Disconnected

A week and a few days of no speaking terms and now, I feel so disconnected from him. It seems like he moved to another city without me knowing it. He has moved on immensely and wow, I'm still me. Well, I do not want to over-analyze things. The point is he has moved on and it seems like I'm not part of his plans. I thought we were more than friends only to find out that we were nothing but mere acquaintances. Oh life...

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Query

I'm here, you're there
I'm online, you're away
I'm free, you're busy
Our minds meet
Time doesn't
Proximity is distant
Cultures differ
Language becomes a barrier
Can't help but wonder
You and me
Are we meant to be?


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, August 26, 2011

That's What Friends Are For

As a good friend, you tell your friend what's good for him and what's not. You do not sugar-coat truth instead you tell it to him straightforward. You drag him to places which will address his health and wellness. You encourage them to try new things out to make them look and feel better. You do not insist on hat you think is right but instead you convince them to consider your point and allow them to try thugs out for themselves.

Oh man! Things that you do for friendship's sake...


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Location:Southmall Underpass Access Rd,Las PiƱas City,Philippines

Thursday, August 25, 2011

What I have with Miguel is one of a kind. We connect. We jive. We battle the communication barrier and we try to bridge our cultural differences. It has been 9 days since I decided to give him some space. He deserves the breather while I had to sort things out for myself. Call me shallow but this was all I needed to make me smile. 3 simple words -- "I MISS YOU!!!"
Words are powerful. Never take its power for granted. As they say, words can break you or make you. Words can brighten a person's day or completely darken it. If this is so, may it be our goal to bring joy and encouragement to the people around us through the words which we speak. It won't kill us to leave a few words that would uplift somebody's day. 

Recharged.. Re-start... Let's Go

We, as Christians, are encouraged to take time out to spend with our Lord DAILY. Some people do it in the morning while others do it at night. I am in my journey of rekindling my relationship with the Lord. Not that I have backslid or I totally left Him out of my life, it's just that I am finding ways to deepen my relationship with Him.


For a long time now, I thought just being able to spend "time" with the Lord was already enough. To pray to Him everyday meant seeking Him. Today, however, upon waking up I just realized that it's not the way it should be. We have always been reminded to find a specific time and place to spend with the Lord but I never understood its importance until now.


I  woke up today realizing that mornings are the best way to commune with the Lord. Reading God's Word, meditating on it, and then praying to Him in the morning aligns everything in my life first thing in the morn. It sets my mind on things above and not on any other things. It guards my hearts and thoughts from evil things. 


To others, coffee starts their day right; I believe I just found again what starts my day right - being right with God. Gotta bear this in mind ALL THE TIME and I'm ready to tackle what's ahead of me. Toxic day ahead? Whatever! Let's go do this! I am now recharged and so ready to go.

Try it! 

Monday, August 22, 2011

Music of my Soul

Music has been a major part of my life. I have always loved singing and I don't think I could spend a day without listening to any sort of music at all. 


Last night, John, my youngest sibling, and I went out with John (as in Nichol John) to have dinner and catch up on what we've missed out on. Nichol was very much excited to hang out because we failed to see each other for more than 5 month. We got too busy with too many things in life that we failed to spend quality time with each other.


I got tons of adopted and extended siblings and somehow I have learned to accept the fact that they are only a part of our lives for a limited time. It's not the case for Nichol. He makes me feel like he really belongs with us. He is one of us. He really exerted effort to meet us yesterday - offering us a ride, dinner, and everything else just so we could spend some quality time together.


Last night was one of those nights which has blown me away. I went videoke-ing with my brothers. We punched in old songs, shouted at the top of our lungs, sang the night away and laughed out loud. It's the best thing ever!


Music is no longer "just" a source of entertainment to me but it's definitely a source of joy -- one of the binding forces in my and my brothers' lives. Play that funky music once more! Woot! Woot!